Saturday, June 21, 2008

My life decisions

I'm good with my hands.
I love pleasing people.
I love praise, and compliments.
I enjoy being around people.
I love being creative.
I'm excellent at creating duplicates.
I hate knowing what tomorrow will bring.
I love challenges.
I love learning.
I'm very optimistic.
I love listening to people.
I love trying new things.
I deal with change.
I have a big heart.
I love to talk.
I'm a good friend.
I acknowledge my mistakes.
I will do anything to better myself.
I would give someone the shirt off my back.
I love nature.
I love animals.
I love art.
I love LOVE.
I am caring.
I am indecisive.

As I think about the above, I can apply most of those to what I want to be in life. Thing is I always seem to not be able to make up my mind. As I do, I always find something else I want to be. My ambitions seem to surpass me and I usually never go through with it. But over the years and becoming to realize stuff about myself, and what relaxes me and stuff I enjoy, I realize I have the power to be whatever I want to be. So these are the careers I have thought of over the years, accompanied by the years I thought I wanted to be that. lol. I will at the end of the post reveal what I have been looking into and am finally happy with the decision and why I chose it.

As a child up until I was a sophomore in high school I wanted to be a veterinarian. I suppose I came to wanting this just because, I grew up on a farm. I was the child who would put popsicle sticks on baby chicks legs because they were broke, or the time I was 4 and I helped with a pygmy goat C-section. I spent all my time around the farm checking on the animals, and if they needed help I was there. I remember times, when it would be in the middle of winter, and the sheep were giving birth, that I would go out there and take a towel to the babies to get them dry. Or the many animals I would rescue and help along the way. But after seeing more devastation of the animals not making it, even when i tried so hard, I decided it wasn't for me. Then a few years later it came back, but again I wasn't ready to see so many animals hurt or die. I then looked into becoming a vet tech, but I knew my creative side wouldn't shine, so i didn't want to do it.

But then my junior came and I was enrolled in all art classes. I mean I was a very creative child my whole life. I still have a drawing from first grade, where I had drew my grandpa cutting hay to make hay bales. He wasn't cutting it with a brush hog no I had him cutting the hay with scissors. I had a huge imagination. I guess that is what led me into wanting to be an artist. Thing is my mom pushed it so hard, because that was her dream, I burned out and left it.
But like the vet stuff this one bit me back in the ass. I dont want to go to school to be an artist where is the uniqueness of that I mean all the teachers teach the same thing, the way they want. But each teacher doesn't let one grow and do their own thing. AGAIN not for me. I suppose I'll keep it as a hobby and if it branches off into something it will.

Nursing, ya I pretty much picked this one to have a good thing to fall back on. I would be safe right. I don't know, it seemed logical. Apparently I'm not logical, I don't want to be safe. I wanted to do nursing, but not anywhere in a negative part of a medical place. I didn't think this one through. I wanted to do nursing in the labor and delivery unit of a hospital. All my friends are having babies. I believe having a baby is the biggest miracle of life. It comes from you, you help it grow, it's something you'll always be proud of. I just don't believe I can be creative in this field either, ya I know I am rambling. I suppose I couldn't deal with the loss of a life. I didn't do so hot when my grandpa died, but even watching children dying or seeing a child live without a parent on television, I tear up. I just don't think I could handle the reality of death.

So it brings me back to what I have been looking into and a new career path. So I am creative, good with my hands, a people pleaser, a great listener and love doing something new all the time. I grew up hating my hair, it never did what I wanted it to. It was curly and very hard to maintain. Ive learned to love it. It took a lot to finally get it down on what I needed to do. After going to many salons, and not finding a single one who new what they were doing, I knew it was time to research and find products good with my type of hair. I enjoyed trying new products in my hair. I loved changing the colors. In my life I have probably dyed it a hundred times, always about 10 times a year. I love change. I love creating a new look with it. I could do it all day everyday. So after my sister had made a comment while I was cutting her hair, it sunk in on what I wanted to be. I knew what she wanted we had researched thousands of pictures, and I pulled it off. I did. I know the salary isn't as good as the above listed, but I suppose you don't have to have to be stuck with a shitty salary. The business of hair, isn't about the quantity but the quality. You can pop out a 100 crappy hair do's and get paid a shitty salary. Or you can create a few mind blowing hairstyles, and have a great attitude, and get paid good. Most hairstylists rely on tips, just like a waitress, the service you provide, determines what you will make at the end of it. But money isn't why I chose this one. I realized I am fit for this. I can please many people, I'm very good with people, I love detail. I love creating unique looks, I can be creative. So as I leave you, I leave filling satisfied with my decision. I suppose finally I can move on from this rut and start planning the future. I believe I have finally found what I really want to go into. I feel very excited about this one and wish you to support me. I wont be a beauty school drop out.