Saturday, October 4, 2008

Letter to mom.

This is a letter I have written to my mom.

Mom-

This letter only speaks the truth.

One must learn to say no and pull back. One must release the negative and all associated. I will love unconditionally for the rest of my life. I can no longer be around the negative that brings me down. I have said "No"! I release my past and walk away into my future. When judgement day comes I know that I have no negativity and am a honest, loving person. I am a strong woman, and have stood up against what was wrong. Again when judgement day comes, I know I have nothing to hide. I release the demons that have been eating at me. Speak ill of me for what I've done, blame if you have to. Pointing fingers will not bring satisfaction, justice, or security. Pointing fingers allow hate and misunderstanding to rule over your mind, your soul, your heart, and your body. I no longer hate greg, he is nothing to me, and invisible being. His actions hold nothing over me, he no longer scares me, he is nothing but air. Your blindness to the past no longer frustrates me, no longer fills me up with resentment, it makes me aware of how lost you are.

I love myself, I respect myself, I empower myself, I strengthen myself, I listen to myself.

I dont lie to myself or others. In doing so I am filled with beauty, health, and love. My truth will bless all I encounter, and I will be blessed. I grasp who I am and not allow others to penetrate me negatively.

My pain is released and no longer haunts me or affect my life. I wish Catie the same. I too hope she can rise from the pain that runs deep within her soul, and allow it to be left behind. So that she can too walk into the future that is waiting to take her hand and allows her to grow and learn to love herself. I wish her to forgice those who hurt her and if forgiveness is not available, then to realize out of most things were not her fault, and to let go of those hurtful beings and label them as nothing. The main thing I wish for her to do is love herself unconditionally, to respect herself, to empower herself, to strenghten herself, to stand against what is wrong, and to listen to herself.

At no moment will I regret the actions I have taken. At no point will I regret speaking up for myself and my siblings. For someone to speak up against those who wronged or hurt us, takes strength. A strength that empowers an individual who can not or will not stand up for themselves. Again if the blame game must be played, then point your fingers at me if you must, but remember pointing fingers only empowers the hate and misunderstanding in your own mind and heart.

I do and will love you unconditionally.
I do not understand your actions.
I do care for you.
I do not care for your beliefs.

I release my past and allow myself growth. Growth of mind, body, and soul. Growth in the heart. Growth of an individual, and Growth of a Woman

Love Always
Amanda

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